Some days there is just a feeling of being on a course that matters. It is rarely the big things that make me more certain of what I'm doing, it is usually the little things that bring such a sense of satisfaction with our quest for self-sufficiency.

Today, it started with carrots and orange peels. Candied orange peels, made from the oranges we juiced (next time I'll save the pulp also, and dry it, pulverize it, and then use it in a citrus meat rub). I was cutting them into slivers today, before drying them. Working indoors, as the project outside is postponed on account of snow (not frequent enough here to need to work out there in spite of it).

Kevin cut up a bag of carrots (we still can't have a garden, but got a good deal on them). He cut the root end off, a little higher than he might have done if we did not have rabbits. Sliced them up, tossed the tops into the bucket with the root ends. I spread the slices out on the dehydrator trays. Dried carrots are so useful for fast food.

Then turning the pork loin and shoulder that are dry curing in the fridge, making plans to cure another loin and some hog jowls. Feeling blessed for having the meat to cure - and not needing it so badly that we can't wait a month or two for it to cure before we eat it. There have been times when it would have been out of the question. Now, I can smell the rosemary, and juniper, and nutmeg that have infused into the loin, and look forward to the end result without feeling the pinch of desperate need.



Later we went to feed the rabbits, and this being winter, fresh food is less available for them. Seeing them dive into the carrot ends just gave me a sense of peace, and gratitude. Such a small thing - no guilt over tossing out the carrot ends that were too small to dry (they would fall through the holes in the trays), just the knowledge that the rabbits needed those parts, and we needed the rest.

Gathering the eggs from the hens in the coop, taking stock of the state of their feathers, seeing the little pink egg left by our Fayoumi hen who just started laying, observing the behaviors of the new doves that occupy two cages in another shelter.

Later, making pizza crust from home milled wheat, topping it with home canned sauce, sliced homemade meatballs, and home canned pineapple, and several other ingredients from our food storage or that we had in the fridge from the last shopping trip.

So many things in our life that are not as we want them. So many things still so very hard, achingly painful. But little moments reinforce our goals, that this is what we need to be doing. That somehow, some way that we can't see, it may just be ok after all.